Shew.... Time sure flys. Feels like yesterday I was bringing the twins home. Now we are prepping for their 4th birthday. Yikes!!
I'm working full time again and Mike got a promotion which means no more shift work but a lot of on calls. Things are super busy so this rare photo of all of us takes me back. Forces me to look at it and think. To see how far we've come. How did we get here so fast? Where did my babies go?
When you first bring your baby home without a doubt some veteran mom will say "enjoy them now... They grow so fast". At the time you politely smile and nod thinking "for the love of all that is holy I'd like to fast forward to when they sleep through the night!" Then that happens and you pray "dear God just get me through teething". Each milestone passes one right after the next. You're too overwhelmed to notice how fast it's really going. Like a roller coaster you catch bits and pieces but you never understand the true magnitude of the adventure until it's over.
Then one day you go to hold your baby boy and he barely fits in your arms. His legs dangle his feet hitting you in the knees, his arms wrapped around you, his weight almost uncomfortable to hold. When did my baby no longer fit in my arms so snuggly? Then the roller coaster comes to a screeching halt and you realize nothing's the same. You see all you've missed.
How did 4 come so fast? I've missed so much of them growing just trying to survive. Do they look at it the same way? Do they view you as a panicked, rushing mess you feel like you were/are? Or do they remember a loving mommy who kissed boo boos and snuggled every night? Do they remember the mornings where you cussed as you spilled your coffee on you way out to work blowing half hearted kisses? Or do they remember the lazy Saturdays you got to eat waffles on the couch watching spider-man.
God I hope they remember the good. I pray they have a better view on this roller coaster ride. Maybe they have the front seat. That uninhibited view full of excitement and energy. Most days I feel like I'm on the last seat... Just trying to keep up, being tossed around by life barely holding on praying for it to be over.
Maybe it's time I pick a new seat? Take charge of this ride. I can't go back and re-do (God I wish I could!) but I can change today. So today I choose to stop this roller coaster... Stare at my beautiful children as they sleep. And learn to enjoy the now.
You never know when life will hand you a nose dive or when the ride will suddenly stop. God willing our ride is more scenic and smooth than dips, curves and spins. But even if we hit a few bumps it's ok... Because we are all in the front of the roller coaster taking on each new adventure hand in hand.
Just maybe if we stick together enough time won't go by so fast. I pray time slows down!
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